And We Go Marching On
by wingedsanya
Summary: The remnants of Team JNPR carry a lot with them on the way to Mistral - trauma, depression, and uncomfortable feelings. But at the very least, they still have each other. And after everything they've lost, they're far too afraid to let that go.
1. Prologue

They're too weak and injured to protest when the airships take them away.

"We can't leave, not without Jaune and Pyrrha!" Nora croaks out, gasping in pain as they load her onto a stretcher. But the doctors don't listen, and they're whisked away.

Jaune is found later, wandering the streets, shellshocked and wide-eyed, and Ren has never been as happy to see someone in his life.

 _NotagainnotagainIcan'tlosethemagain-_

Jaune's first question is, "Where's Pyrrha?" Silence falls and they don't know.

It isn't until Glynda comes to them, bearing a tiny bundle wrapped in red cloth, days later.

"I'm so sorry. Miss Nikos was an excellent Huntress." Her voice breaks and she hands it to Jaune, the leader. He unwraps it slightly, and Ren can see the remnants of her sword, her shield, her crown, warped by fire but still shining.

Jaune crumbles, and Ren and Nora crumble with him.

* * *

Nora is the first one to reach out to Ruby, Jaune is practically catatonic, going about his day in almost perfect silence, like a robot – except not like a robot, because Penny was a robot and she was so vibrant, Ren thinks - but Nora is pragmatic. She's determinedly cheerful, because somebody has to be. Ren has caught her crying when she thinks no one is watching, but he's never brought it up. It's not like he hasn't been doing it too.

The response is slow, but it's disappointing. Ruby still hasn't woken up yet, Mr. Xiao-Long writes, but he'll let them know immediately. Yang has been doing as well as to be expected.

Ren interprets that as "Yang is doing badly."

A letter arrives a few days later, postmarked the day after the first one, letting them know that Ruby has finally woken, and invites them to write to her. He warns them that she doesn't remember much about what happened on top of the tower, and expresses his condolences about Pyrrha.

"Ruby said she was wonderful. I would have liked to meet her," he writes in careful, neat penmanship. Ruby did mention he was a teacher.

Most of the other people have been moved back into their own homes, as the Hunters take back the city block by block. There's still lots of rebuilding to do, but except for a few stragglers, the Grimm have mostly been contained into Beacon. The students from other academies were able to retrieve some of their belonging and were flown out, but the three of them refuse to leave. Ren and Nora have nowhere to go to, anyway. Jaune is still silently stubborn.

The food rations in Vale aren't too bad. At the very least Ren can make something out of them. They've been spoiled by the Beacon cafeteria, Ren thinks as he pushes back the distaste at the measly sack of rice and slightly wilted vegetables. He and Nora scavenged far worse from village dumpsters.

Jaune doesn't complain, and Ren knows from experience that he's probably not tasting anything right now. Nora cracks jokes around the fire, and they huddle closer to her warmth. She's always been dependable. Ren may know how to cook, and how to keep her on task, but he knows he would have died long ago without Nora. He doesn't like to think about that possibility.

They find odd jobs around the camp and Vale. Nora works construction.

"I've always been good with hammers," she laughs as Ren rubs knots out of her shoulders and back. Ren helps out at the soup kitchen, getting extra food that is a little old to leally give out to the refugees. No sense in putting it to waste. The children of the camp need more protein.

Jaune does a little bit of everything. He scrubs floors and does laundry, experienced with the messes a large family makes. The children scurry around his feet and it's the first time Ren has seen him smile. He wishes he was better with kids, but he can barely talk to people he doesn't know. He used to be better about it, but at one point he just started letting Nora do the talking.

He meets Cardin in the soup kitchen line, and it's more awkward than he could possibly imagine. Most of the students from their school have been resettled. Worst of all, there's no line behind him so he stops to chat.

"Listen, I'm real sorry about Pyrrha," and ugh, he actually sounds like he means it. Ren shrugs, staring down at the tray of sandwiches he's supposed to be handing out.

"If you need anything, the rest of CDNL is at the southern camp. They've been asking for Huntsmen to help out with defense, so we stayed behind. You should join us sometime." Ren wonders if he could use his semblance to disappear from this situation. Someone comes up behind Cardin, and he starts to move on.

"Cardin, thanks. I'll pass the message on." He doesn't. The last thing Jaune and Nora would want is pity from Cardin.

* * *

They sleep side by side, the tent getting colder as winter approaches. Ren's in the middle, because Jaune thrashes and screams and nothing could possibly wake Ren. Nora curls into his side, small and warm, the way they've slept since they were small. He usually wakes up with Nora's arms around his waist, and his arms around Jaune, pinning him down.

On weekends they join the hunts. It feels good, hacking and slicing and shooting and watching the Grimm disintegrate into puffs of smoke, drifting on the wind. They have to adjust. They used to be able to slip into well-defined roles while fighting, but without Pyrrha… They huddle around the fire and draw plans in the dirt, and Jaune lights up while discussing strategy, waving the drawing stick enthusiastically as he gestures wildly. He and Nora butt heads over her over the top ideas, and Ren just laughs quietly. It's almost back to normal, but then someone will say something and Jaune will shut down again.

Ren has seen this cycle, lived this cycle time and time again, but he doesn't know the words to say, or what to do to break it. Occasionally the teachers check in on them, when they have the time. The other schools have promised to take Beacon students, Glynda tells them, urging them to go.

"You've all made some great progress," she says. "I've seen you hunt recently, I'm impressed. You should continue your training. Move forward."

They've talked about it, vaguely. But the fear is still there, and it's paralyzing.

 _Whatifithappensagainwhatiftheyseparateuswhatifwhatifwhatif-_

So they don't go. Not until they can decide together.

* * *

The letter arrives from Ruby a month after she wakes up. The last leaves are falling, and winter should be arriving soon. Nora's breath swirls around her face as she reads.

"Should we go?" The question hangs on the cold air like a ghost.

Jaune paces around the tent, then opens the tent flap. Nora yelps as the cold air rushes into the tent.

"I'm so sick of looking at it," he confesses, and Ren follows his gaze to the top of Beacon Tower. There's nothing left of her body, Ren knows that, but he can't help but think that she's still up there. It's morbid, the place where your friend died standing over you. Beacon, which used to grace the skyline with its striking architecture, has never looked uglier.

"I think we should leave," Ren says quietly. He feels like a coward. He always leaves the dead behind.

* * *

They quit their jobs, and gather what little they have. They don't tell Glynda what they're doing. She would never forgive herself if the rest of them died. Better to not tell her.

In the end, it's Nora's idea.

"We should hold a funeral," she says. "Put her to rest."

Ren's never been to a funeral before. He's seen plenty of dead before, though. But they have nothing to bury, nothing to burn.

So they each write a letter to her. Jaune and Nora write theirs easily, spilling their feelings onto page after page. But Ren has never been good at expressing himself. Concise it is, then.

 _I'm sorry I couldn't help you. Please, be at peace._

And as they silently burn them, he wonders if he's writing just to Pyrrha, or to everyone he's lost.


	2. Chapter 1

There's blood all over his hands and the body is just too heavy for him to carry. When the Grimm had left, apparently sated, he'd meant to come back and give everyone a proper burial. But even working together, there's no way they could do that.

At the very least, he wanted to bury his father. At least he thinks this body is his. There's no way to be sure, since it's missing most of the head and torso. He would have liked to bury his mother too, but he can't move the rubble covering her.

He can't really do anything after all. Dimly, he knows he's acting far too calm about all of this.

Probably because it's a dream.

Life on the move is starting to get to him.

* * *

Ren and Nora used to live like this, moving from village to village, scavenging whatever they could find, until they were able to enter a low level Huntsman Academy. Since then, they'd just lived in the dorms, off any scholarships they were able to get. He'd thought he'd moved past the nightmares and the paranoia, but a few nights sleeping in the open was driving him crazy. At least internally. He's usually very good at keeping calm.

Ruby is doing her best. But there's an awkwardness around the four of them. She hangs around their outskirts, falling silent when they slip into their familiar conversations. She's not really a part of Team JNPR, and they're not really a part of Team RWBY. Part of him wonders if she was hoping to use them as temporary replacements for her team, maybe not consciously. He could probably pull off a Blake impression if he tried, but they never really talked. They exchanged books a few times, and he felt like they had an understanding. That is, they understood that both of them weren't all that talkative around other people and maintained a comfortable silence.

Ren didn't think anyone on JNPR was even thinking of Ruby replacing Pyrrha. It would be impossible. Her gentle smile, her constructive criticism, how ruthless she got during late night board games… It was unfair to expect anyone to replace her. Still, sometimes it was hard, seeing a flash of red cloth out of the corner of his eyes. He almost slips up, sometimes, when he's absentmindedly cooking breakfast. He's never been a morning person, and he's been sleeping worse and worse the closer they get to Mistral.

At night they've been sleeping in a circle around the fire, and the nights seem so cold.

* * *

They hit their first village a week in, trying to find an airship that will take them across the ocean. The inn offers them a free room in exchange for ridding the area of a pack of Beowolves. It's easy work. Or at least it should be.

They've barely had a chance to discuss their strategy when Ruby vanishes, rose petals wafting around them. Panic immediately bursts in his chest, and he takes off running, Nora and Jaune alongside of him. He can see the fear in their eyes.

By the time they catch up, she's killed most of them. The three of them work fast, Nora leaping into the air and springing off Jaune's shield- they do not have to talk. Ren is already in the trees leaping from branch to branch providing cover fire. Ruby flashes them a victory sign, and Ren's pretty sure Jaune is about to explode.

Nora intervenes before he can start yelling.

"Ruby, come on. Can you at least tell us before you run off?" Her voice is cheerful but Ren knows her- she's pissed.

Jaune is trembling, and Ren slips down from the treetops and puts an arm around him.

"Oh, uh, sorry-" Ruby says, noticing their pale faces, and the fear in their eyes. "It's just with RWBY, I'm the fastest so I'm used to scouting ahead. I didn't think."

Jaune swallows his anger like nasty medicine and sighs.

"No, it's okay. Just- look, communication is really important to us. We haven't been fighting together, so we're not used to each other's strategies. We'll just have to keep working at it, okay?"

And he flashes a smile that bright and cheerful and cute and almost like the old Jaune but not really.

Ren guesses that might be as close as he'll ever get back to normal.

* * *

The inn is warm and homey, and sleeping in an actual bed is, according to Nora, like, pretty much the best thing ever, and Ren agrees. The innkeeper puts them across the hall from each other, luckily, and the rooms are pretty nice. It reminds him a little bit of Beacon, but without all of their posters and Jaune whimpers in his sleep. He never used to do that.

The room is silent for a long time before he speaks up.

"Are you okay over there?" He asks, and Jaune just covers his face with a pillow and sighs.

"It's weird without Nora here," he admits. "I've gotten used to her." That's not entirely true, Ren knows. Someone else is missing too.

"Jaune, you don't have to pretend. You haven't slept well in a long time." None of them had, really.

"Yeah, I know. I just- Man, everything's just wrong." And Ren can relate. He's never been very good at reading the mood, and he's bad at understanding people besides Nora, but he thinks he understands Jaune.

"Would you like me to come over there?" He asks, not entirely sure of what he's hoping to accomplish with this. Jaune is quiet.

"Yeah, actually, that would be nice," he says, scooting over to make room. Ren slips out of the covers and pads silently across the floor. The beds are probably a little small for the two of them, but it's fine. He awkwardly wraps his arm around Jaune, and Jaune snuggles a little closer. He can feel his heart beating, and it's comforting. He guesses Jaune must feel the same way, because he drifts off to sleep a few minutes later.

He understands the feeling, and even after all these years he still doesn't like being alone at night. It's too quiet, too dark, and too isolating. Sometimes, he thinks as he drifts off to sleep, you just need to know that someone else is alive.


	3. Chapter 2

Nora walks in on them next morning, all bright eyed and bubbly. She freezes, then quickly backs out of the room, and Ren curses himself. Nora has been walking him up every day for years, how could he have been so stupid?

Dimly he wonders why it matters so much, why she would care so much, why _he_ cares so much. But then he's yanking the covers off and hissing as his bare feet touch the cold hardwood floors. Jaune stirs and mumbles something,

"Go back to sleep, Jaune," He says, probably a little harsher than he means too and then he's out the door, and gods, are his feet cold.

He finds Nora sitting on the front steps, her face burning with embarrassment.

"I guess you're finally getting to that age, huh? I should have knocked." Ren sighs and pushes his hair out of his eyes. It's a complete mess, unbrushed and loose, but he didn't even think of making himself presentable. He flops down beside her.

"Hilarious." It's rare to have Nora so quiet, and he hates it. "He's been sleeping badly." He can see the gears in Nora's head turning and her face flares even brighter.

"Ohmygods, I'msosorry, Ididn'teventhinkIjustjumpedtoconclusions, ofcoursethatwasitI'msodumbit'sjustthewholebedthingseemedso- Intimate?" He can't help but laugh, just a little to see her flustered.

"I know, I didn't even think, either." And she starts laughing too and the whole world is better again.

"You'd tell me right? If you ever found someone?" She says, a little awkwardly, and Ren feels a little hurt at the thought she'd even ask.

"You're the first person I'd tell, you know that." There had been one time in their previous combat school, where a girl invited Ren to the dance, and he'd tried to hide it. Nora had gotten so upset she ended up going with another guy just to piss him off. It was the stupidest fight they'd ever had, but at least they'd gotten it out of the way. They were always honest with each other.

"Besides, with Jaune?" She teases him. "He's so dense I think it would take you a whole year to trick him into holding hands with you. And you're pretty dense too."

"Wait, what?" His brain short circuits, trying to figure out if he was missing something.

"I mean, you're a handsome guy, ya know? There's always been people flirting with you. I could count at least 5 at Beacon." She digs her elbow into his side and he yelps. Time to fight back.

"How do I know you weren't just scaring them off?" She did have a tendency to do that. He usually didn't mind, since relationships always seemed really, really tiring.

"Oh believe me, it's not like it didn't try," she grumbles. She leans up against him, falling back into a familiar position.

He can't stop his mind from wandering a little as they sit. It's not like he hasn't dated before. He has- just poorly. He's bad at opening up, bad at reading the mood, bad at talking to people. He was never opposed to the idea, in fact, he liked it. But putting it into practice was more than Ren could deal with.

And stuff like kissing, and even sex, didn't bother him, not really. He'd always been a voracious reader, so he was fairly comfortable and knowledgeable about that. But parts of it made him shudder, like the way people's eyes stared at him, like they were hungry. When they lived on the street, their lives were full of people who'd wanted to take advantage of desperate children.

They had never been that desperate.

He briefly wonders if he'd be okay with Jaune, but he pushes it away. It's too close for comfort, he'd be betraying Pyrrha. Maybe they all were, being so happy and alive right now. He tramples everything back down, back into the same little place he crams everything uncomfortable and painful, and slams the door on it. It's unhealthy, he knows that. Glynda, and Pyrrha, and everyone warned him about that, but he can't help it. He'll sort it out when he gets to Mistral, he promises them, hearing their disappointment bouncing around his skull. There's just too much to deal with right now, it's too much at once-

He stands up, startling Nora, and stretches.

"Sorry, but it's cold. I'm going to go take a hot shower." He moves towards the door.

"Oh, Ren!" He turns around and Nora is grinning at him.

"It's been a while since I've seen you with your hair down. It looks cute like that, you should wear it like that more often!"

He waves her off, and walks inside. As he heads upstairs, he twists a lock of hair around his finger. Maybe she's right. Maybe he'll wear it down today.


End file.
